Every couple argues, and this is normal. However, if a conflict is prolonged, it can lead to a deplorable outcome.
TRIG shares how to extinguish a conflict so that you don’t regret every word of it.
7. Don’t criticize the person.
Criticizing your partner’s personality will only aggravate the situation, especially if you do it deliberately. Do not insult your partner, but talk about the specific actions that upset you.
6. Don’t discount feelings.
Speak your feelings and address the feelings of your partner, showing your interest in their emotional state.
5. Do not assume your worst thoughts are true.
Don’t think your partner is always up to no good when away from you. This can only provoke a new quarrel. Clarify the motives of your partner’s behavior.
4. Don’t look down on your partner.
Do not express your superiority over your partner. This way you show them they aren’t good enough for you. Suggest looking for a solution to the problem together.
3. Don’t look for someone to blame.
It is wrong to debate who’s guilty. The event has already happened. It is now better to spend time figuring out what the best exit strategy is.
2. Don’t recall old misunderstandings.
Reminding your partner of past arguments will not fix situations from the past, and it will provoke a new quarrel. Discuss what’s bothering you right away. After the situation is resolved, save yourself some grief and don’t return to it.
1. Remember there is another point of view.
Forgetting that both partners are involved in the relationship can cause aggression. Flexibility is always better: when you discuss both points of view, strong arguments come to the surface and draw attention from both sides.